This is a guest blog post from Dr. Robert Anthony (the man who turned down a part in the movie “The Secret”)
The self-evident reality you must understand is the “Source Energy” that created you does not make faulty BEINGS out of itself. It can only make perfect BEINGS.
While the BEING may be perfect sometimes the PERSON is not perfect when it comes to their actions due to their Subconscious programming. But who you are (your BEING) and what you do (your actions)are not the same thing. Put simply, you are not what you DO. What you do may not be so great at times, but it does not make you less than a worthy BEING.
As a PERSON we are taught that our self-worth is something we have to earn. It’s not there already.
The problem with anything that is “Self”; self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth is that it gets you to look at yourself very closely. As soon as you do that you start to notice imperfections, and focus on what is wrong with you.
If you meet anyone who suffers from low self-worth it is because of an introverted viewpoint of their “faults”. I personally feel the best thing you can do is the opposite. Start to think of your self-worth in a different way. Start thinking to yourself, “What if I shift my perception?”
“Maybe my self-worth is not something I gain. Maybe I already have it and I am causing myself unnecessary problems”.
If you think about it like that it makes sense because if you create resistance to something (your Self) then it creates tension, and as soon as you have tension, it limits your ability to move through it.
Here is something you can do right away. Start saying to yourself over and over, “I am not here to earn my self-worth and I am not here to prove it. I am here to learn and grow and to be a Deliberate Creator.” Then make a decision about what you would like to change or create. And then do it! Notice how that simple distinction changes things. This really works.
And as a worthy person, you don’t need anyone’s approval. All approval at the end of the day comes back to self-approval. Why wait for others to give it to you?
Most people want to justify and give themselves a reason for self-approval. They work hard, build a business or a career, run, meditate, go to the gym, eat right, help other people – they try to DO something so that they can feel good about themselves.
You just need to educate yourself to have 100% self-worth and self-approval for no reason. Not because of anything you have or do. Once you give yourself approval for no reason, you start making decisions for no reason, except they feel right to you.
What does this have to do with Deliberate Creation or creating our lives the way we want to? What it boils down to is you really have two choices about the way you create your life.
The first way is to create from the WISDOM MODEL of inherent Self-Worth.
The second way is to create from the ACHIEVEMENT MODEL of conditional Self-Worth.
The ACHIEVEMENT MODEL of conditional Self-Worth says – what I do and what I accomplish determines my self-worth. It also determines whether I like and accept myself or not.
The WISDOM MODEL of inherent Self-Worth says – I am inherently a good person and I am worthy of all the good things in life. I’m not here to prove myself as a worthy person by what I have or what I do. All I am here for is to learn and grow.
The WISDOM MODEL is a model of inherent Self-Worth. In other words, I don’t have to earn it, and I don’t have to prove it. The ACHIEVEMENT MODEL requires you to constantly prove you are “worthy” by what you have or what you do.
Let me explain the difference. Let’s say two individuals want to earn $100,000 this year. One uses the ACHIEVEMENT MODEL and the other uses the WISDOM MODEL.
At the end of the year each of them only earn $40,000. However something incredibly and profoundly different goes on in their mind.
The ACHIEVEMENT MODEL person says if things are going according to plan and I am on track to earn $100,000, I am okay. I can like and accept myself as a success.
But if things start going down-hill and at the end of the year the ACHIEVEMENT MODEL person has not earned anywhere near $100,000, in fact they only earned $40,000, the ACHIEVEMENT MODEL person says something very interesting. “I tried everything and did everything I could but I haven’t earned $100,000 so that can only mean one thing. There is something wrong with me.” They get trapped in self-inquiry and beat themselves up.
Let’s look at the WISDOM MODEL person. He or she says “As I go through the year, if things are going well I will do more of that, and if things aren’t going well I will do less of that and self-correct along the way and do the best I can with the knowledge I have”.
“I have not earned $100,000 but there is nothing wrong with me. The only problem is I didn’t develop enough skills to earn $100,000. I can do better and I can change this without feeling bad about myself”.
The same applies in a relationship – the ACHIEVEMENT MODEL person says “I failed at the relationship so there is something wrong with me”. The WISDOM MODEL person says, “There’s nothing wrong with me. The only problem is I did not understand and apply the principles for a happy, healthy, passionate relationship. I can change this without feeling bad about myself”.
Do you see the difference?
Why is this so Important?
Because all bad decision makers are ACHIEVEMENT MODEL based. The reason for this is what they do and what they achieve is tied into who they are and how they feel about themselves, so they live in fear of making the wrong decision. Each wrong decision “proves” they are stupid, incompetent, not worthy, etc.
So in their fear of making wrong decisions they become completely inept at making any decision or making any changes in their life because they fear the consequences. “What if I fail again?”
However the WISDOM MODEL person never fears making a wrong decision, making a mistake or making a change because they know that there is no such thing as “failure”. Failure is only feedback. What that means is if a decision doesn’t work out they don’t see it as failure but as feedback that allows them to make another decision or change something to see if that will work out, etc. until they reach their desired outcome.
The irony of the ACHIEVEMENT MODEL person is they think “I should be able to achieve what I want with the knowledge I already have. However if I don’t reach my desired outcome with the knowledge I currently have, then surely it cannot be a knowledge problem. There must be something wrong with me”. You will never get what you want if you give up, but you will give up and get discouraged if you think something is wrong with you.
Instead of playing the game of life to succeed, you will play it not to fail. But the problem with playing not to fail is it’s impossible to succeed at anything while trying not to fail. Said another way, you’ll never see the sunset if you keep on running east!
But the WISDOM MODEL person says “There nothing wrong with me, I just need to learn, grow and make some changes until I achieve my desired outcome.”
If you create from the WISDOM MODEL you will not fear failure, change or challenge. In fact, you will be excited about change and you will not give up until you reach your desired outcome.
This is a Guest Post from Dr. Robert Anthony
Dr. Robert Anthony has worked with and still coaches some of the most successful people on the planet – he is the successful man’s coach.
For the past 30 years he has spent his life unraveling the mysteries of the mind. During that time he has earned a Ph.D. in behavioral psychology and has worked as a psychotherapist, NLP practitioner, master hypnotist, personal performance trainer and business coach.
You can learn more, from the man himself. He has two main websites where he shares his teachings:
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